How is it even possible that this little guy will be ONE on Monday?! Excuse me while I curl up in the corner and cry for a little while…
No, I’m not pregnant. Far from it, really. But, I can’t help but think about what is next? Are we done adding to our family? Or is there room for one more?
I’ve always thought I would be a mom of three kids. Three just seemed like the right number of kids for our family. There was no rhyme or reason to it – it just was what I pictured our family having at the time. But, the day we found out Miles was going to be a boy, I had a sinking feeling that he would most likely be our last.
Something happens once you have one of each. We have our boy. We have our girl. We don’t really need another. But, when it comes to a third baby, it’s not about need, it’s about want. So, do we want another baby?
Honestly? I think we might be done. For a few reasons. First, I remember right after Miles was born thinking that he completed our family. All of a sudden, my heart felt completely full and I felt that I had everything that I ever wanted. I wonderful husband. A beautiful little girl. And my sweet little boy. We filled up all the bedrooms in our new home and we had just the right amount of chairs at the table. It just felt right.
Second, I’m not sure I want another one. A month or so ago, we were sitting at church with the kids, my sister-in-law, and nephew. My sister-in-law had to go sing with the choir, so she left my nephew with us while she was singing. I immediately had this overwhelming feeling that there were too many kids. Like I couldn’t handle both of mine plus another one.
It was then that I felt comfortable saying that yes, we are most likely done having babies. We decided after Miles was born that we would wait until he was 2 before we officially made a decision, but for the most part, we both feel that our family is complete.
There are certainly things I will miss that comes with all things baby. Like pregnancy. I will certainly miss being pregnant again. I absolutely LOVED being pregnant and I hate the fact that I will never have that opportunity again. And while I certainly will NOT miss pumping (I packed up the breastpump this week!!!!!), I will miss breastfeeding another baby. And of course, just simply having a baby in the house again. I’ll pass on long nights and fussy times, but all those little milestones, sweet chubby cheeks, new baby smell. *sigh*
It definitely makes me sad that I’ll never have those things again, but I’ve tried to cherish all those little milestone with Miles. The last year has been the shortest year, but also the longest as well. And I’m happy that Miles gets to be my last. Let’s face it. He’s pretty dang cute. It’d be hard to beat this face…