We’re currently pretty deep into a 4-month sleep regression as well as some pretty nasty teething. While M used to sleep a good 8-10 hours every night, now we’re lucky if we get 6 at a time. Somedays are better than others. This morning was not one of those days…
I’m pretty used to M waking up at least once in the middle of the night. Last night/this morning was right around 3 AM. I nursed her and she went right back down.
My alarm goes off at 4:15 every morning. Yes, extremely early, but it gives me a chance to go to the gym to run or lift so I can spend more time with M in the evening. This morning, I got up and was about ready to head out the door when I heard crying.
I knew she couldn’t be hungry since I had just fed her an hour ago. So, I knew it had to be her teeth. I’m not letting her cry it out (yet), so I scooped her up, grabbed a teething toy, and rocked her until she calmed down again.
Window of opportunity to work out – GONE. I know I need to be flexible with a baby. I’ve learned that. And while I’m not upset that I had to miss my work out (OK, I am just a little), I’m upset that I lost my ‘me time’ for the day. And being upset about losing my me time only brings me one thing: mommy guilt.
I love my little girl more than anything in the world and the fact that I’m upset that I had to spend time with her instead of at the gym makes me feel so guilty. But the fact is, I need that time. For me.
As any mom can tell you, working or not, being a full time mom is hard. Sometimes we just need those 30 minutes of alone time to stay sane. And when it doesn’t happen, is it OK to feel guilty that I wanted that me time instead of that time with my baby?
It’s definitely a balancing act not only with finding time for myself and MacKenna, but also with my emotions. I’m still learning to prioritize and figure out when it’s OK to have a little guilt for the sake of my mental health. (While still letting my husband get sleep and time for himself too. I obviously suffer from wife guilt too since I feel awful anytime Matt has to wake up before his alarm goes off.)
How do you find time for yourself? Anyone else suffer from mommy guilt when working out?