As we inch closer + closer to our due date (31 days – not that I’m counting or anything…), I am starting to get more + more anxious about our little girl. Sometimes its anxious in a good way since I am beyond excited to finally meet my little Bug face to face. But, most of the time, I am feeling incredibly nervous + questioning everything about becoming a parent.
Can we really afford a child right now? Is there any possible way I can be a stay-at-home mom? (I need to stop thinking about this one because it is likely never going to happen.) Are we really ready to have a child and become parents? When our we ever going to have time for ourselves or for each other?
I am trying my best not to stress out about all this, but I am just starting to feel overwhelmed with the change + responsibility a child brings. I hate doubting that we are ready because I know deep down that we are. It’s just the not knowing part that scares me to death. I have no idea what to expect with our baby and as a Type A, perfectionist planner, this does not sit well with me. I am doing my best not to freak out too much… deep breaths, deep breaths.
One of the things we decided to do together as one of our last weekends just the 2 of us was watch The Business of Being Born. This was all Matt’s idea and I warned him that I might have him turn it off half way through since I knew it was going to be very different from the birth that I was planning (using midwives + having a homebirth – where I am having a hospital birth with an OB/GYN). I was more interested in the natural childbirth aspect of it, and I am still feeling extremely confident in my choice to go natural. I think what I liked most about the movie was that it showed just how things can go completely opposite of the way you expect it to – like going into labor 4 weeks early (fingers + legs crossed that doesn’t happen to us) and having to have a C-section because of a breech baby when she planned on having a natural homebirth with a midwife. As much as I do NOT want a C-section, I know that not everything will go perfect and it might be totally necessary, and I’m OK with that. It was very interesting + if you are looking at going natural or having a midwife or homebirth, I would definitely suggest you watch it. (Just don’t watch it at night with the windows open + your neighbors outside. And don’t say I didn’t warn you. Women in labor make some very “interesting” noises.)
And if you aren’t friends with me on Facebook, you haven’t had a chance to see our official Baby Bump pictures! Matt’s sister Angie is an incredible photographer and (I hope) was more than happy to shoot our maternity photos for us this past weekend. I cannot tell you how much I absolutely LOVE them! They turned out better than I could have ever hoped for!
I’m still in denial that she will be here so soon! 5 weeks left!