Another week down, another week closer to the end of the year! Because that’s basically how I’m counting down now. That, and I’m trying not to think about my summer coming to an end in a few short weeks… So, let’s just focus on happy baby thoughts, mmmm-K?!
I’m feeling like my bump isn’t nearly as huge as it has felt the past few weeks – as in, I don’t think it has grown any this week. But, I am obviously bigger than I was last time around. I finally weighed myself yesterday morning – I’m a bit heavier than where I would like to be, but it was also after breakfast and a HUGE anniversary dinner the night before, so yeah, I’ll probably be a bit heavier. I’m not so concerned about my weight this time around, which is a freeing feeling.
In other bump related news, I am proud to say that I actually wore a bikini in public to the pool yesterday! I’m self-conscious in a bikini in the first place, but when I don’t look obviously pregnant yet, it’s a little nerve wracking to actually put one on in front of other people. But, I felt pretty good about myself and tried not to focus on all the flat tummies in bikinis (most were teenagers, but a few mamas with great bodies too).
Not much has changed in the past week. I’m still tired frequently and had a bout of insomnia a few nights ago, but it seems like it was just a one time thing. I felt a little nauseous yesterday after eating a very rich lunch (leftover pasta from our anniversary dinner, which was absolutely delicious), but a couple of crackers seemed to help. I finally talked to the chiropractor about my daily headaches – he said that I had a tight muscle in my neck and he did some ART on it, which actually seems to have helped! He said not to hesitate to come back in if they come back, but that it’s probably just due to all the changes in my body.
Cravings are still mostly the same: cottage cheese, tomatoes, pickles, and crackers. I’m still eating fairly healthy with a good amount of salads and normal dinners. Homemade fish is still a no-no for me, but I’m hoping that eventually I can start to eat fish at home again. Restaurants are fine though – I think because I can’t smell it for days after.
It was nice to get back to my regular running routine after vacation, but I’m now dealing with achilles/ankle pain in both ankles now. I took a special trip to the chiropractor last week and this week to have him work out some of the soreness but it still bothers me from time to time. What did help was walking to warmup before my long run on Saturday. It was probably my best run all week and I actually ran my last mile at a 9-minute pace – with walking a hill!
Monday: 4 mile run + CrossFit w/ 1 mile run
Tuesday: 4 mile run + CrossFit w/ 1 mile run
Wednesday: 3 mile run + CrossFit
Thursday: 2.25 mile run + CrossFit w/ 1.25 mile run + 1.5 mile run
Friday: 3 mile run
Saturday: 6 mile run
Total: 27 miles
I have to admit that I’ve already started worrying about all the changes that will be happening come January of next year. Of course, these were things we discussed before deciding to have a second child, but thinking about all the time it takes and how the heck I am supposed to handle MacKenna with a newborn is freaking me out just a little bit. (She is going through a very Mama-dependent phase right now that I’m hoping she will get over before the baby arrives.)
I read a post on Scary Mommy the other day about the differences between the first and second babies. One of my biggest fears is #14 – Life Impact. As much as it might have seemed like I handled motherhood well after MacKenna, it was quite the contrary. I didn’t have postpartum depression, but there were many days that I would ask myself what I had done. I missed my freedom and my independence – and no one can really tell you how much you feel like you lose your old identity when you have a child. The thing is, you are creating a new identity for yourself but you just haven’t figured it all out yet.
I’ve gotten really comfortable with having one child. I know I absolutely don’t have this parenting thing down (I think my mom was surprised at how not perfect my child was once we moved in with them), but I figure out more and more every day with how to handle MacKenna and what to say to her to help her respond the way I want her to. Adding another baby is going to add a whole other level of responsibility and new things I’m going to have to try to figure out (believe me, MacKenna was an EASY baby – this one, I have a feeling, will be much more of a handful as an infant).
So, yeah, I’m nervous about the changes that are ahead, but I keep telling myself that if I was able to figure it out with MacKenna, I can figure it out with another baby as well. It might mean less sleep and a little more sacrifice (I have a feeling my coaching days are numbered and that a job closer to home will be much more ideal), but I know that somehow I will get by and things will be OK. Right?!